The 7 photos that get you swiped left (and what to replace them with)

When a profile with zero matches lands on our desk, nine times out of ten the problem isn't the person. It's that they picked the wrong photos, in the wrong order, and nobody told them except the people swiping left.

We've seen these so many times we can spot them at a glance. Here they are, from most common to most lethal.

1. The bathroom mirror selfie

Yellow light from above, phone covering half your face, towel on the floor. It says: I don't know a single person who could take a photo of me. It's not true, but that's what lands.

Replace it with: the same t-shirt, but in front of a window, in daylight, with someone else pressing the button. Thirty seconds and one friend.

2. The club photo with flash

Red eyes, shiny skin, pitch black background. You look like a wanted poster. And nobody wants to date a wanted poster.

Replace it with: the same night, but before going in, under warm light, no flash. Same vibe, human face.

3. The shirtless gym shot

We know you work out. But a shirtless first photo says one thing: I will only talk about protein. Nobody swiping is looking for a personal trainer.

Replace it with: a shirt that fits, outdoors, after a run or a hike. Athletic is shown, not declared.

4. The group photo where nobody knows which one is you

Are you the one on the left? The one at the back? Nobody has time for guess who. If she has to guess, she swipes left and moves on.

Replace it with: keep it, but as photo four or five, and only if your first photo is a clear close-up. That way she knows who to look for.

5. Sunglasses in every single photo

One is fine. All of them, no. If your eyes never show, the brain of the person looking assumes you're hiding something. Usually it's right.

Replace it with: at least two photos with your eyes clearly visible, one of them looking straight at the camera.

6. The cropped-out ex

It always shows. A hand on your shoulder, a piece of hair, an arm that belongs to someone. And the question that follows is: how long ago did it end?

Replace it with: literally any other photo. Better one photo fewer than one with a piece of somebody else.

7. The photo from five years ago

If you don't look like that anymore, the photo isn't helping you. It's setting up a disappointment on the first date, and a second date that never comes.

Replace it with: a photo from the last six months. Less flattering maybe, but real. Trust starts there.

The rule that covers all of them

Every photo has to answer one question: who is this guy, and what would it be like to spend time with him? If a photo answers neither, it's one photo too many. Cut it.

If you can't tell which of yours pass and which don't, send them over. We'll tell you to your face which to keep, which to bin and what's missing. It stings a little. Then you match.